Are you ready for this? Or maybe you have already had kids and have gone through this. Either way, not one mommy would disagree with these cold hard facts about during and after labor. Here is what you are in store for.
1. No matter how much you prepare and how many cute colored bold fonted words you express onto paper in your perfect birth plan, labor is a war zone. You will never be able to predict exactly what kind of labor you will have, and almost always you will be sent back to medieval times when we were at our most primal forms of mankind. One minute you are finishing off your In-N-Out burger and basking in the sun as a respectable member of society, the next you are making low grunting tones and stomping around looking for a way to get to the damn hospital.
It’s been awhile since my last post but I have a good reason, I made a person. Another person. And this time I didn’t have a doula, I didn’t attend any expensive hypnobirthing classes, and I knew (unlike last time) exactly what was about to go down. I knew how it would look (like a war zone) and how it would feel (um, ouch), and that I would have zero dignity or modesty left by the end of this process. My doctor assured me that the second time was so different, that the baby would just fall right out. Needless to say, the baby did not fall out. Actually, as soon as the first contraction hit (once again I started in stage 3 labor, I skip the foreplay for some reason) I knew exactly what I was in for. I made it to the hospital and explained that yes I had stated I wanted another natural drug-free labor like I had before, but that I changed my mind and would like drugs. Drugs now please. Like, right now, what’s the hold up? Sadly, they took so long checking me in and processing me and getting nurses in the room that my husband had arrived and explained to me how much I want a drug free labor yada yada yada blah blah blah. I got scammed. I felt it all. It was work work work work work but after 7 hours I delivered a happy 8 lb. 3 oz. baby boy. His name is Keaton. He doesn’t sleep. Welcome to round 2! I will more than likely start having posts creep in on the dealings of 2 kids and maybe a few more therapeutic cries for help, just a warning. All in all, I feel like my family is finally complete and the missing piece is finally here. Extreme happiness mixed with severe sleep deprivation is a hell of a drug.
For a tutorial on how to take monthly pictures of your newborn like the one you see above, click here.
Okay, I am preparing both mentally and physically for this baby number 2 to come into our lives and create havoc out of our otherwise serene family environment. In doing so, I realized I completely forgot most things in the last two years about what the hell I am doing and what a newborn even needs. How does labor work again? How far apart are contractions before I go to the hospital? What do I pack??? So I looked back a bit into my notes from last time and decided to post this list in the rare case that I may decide 2 years from now to have a baby number 3, if number 2 is a perfect dreamboat. What are the chances?
So, without further ado, here is my ultimate hospital packing list for labor: